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Kyoko realises that as difficult as living with herpes can be,it is not the end of your life
My name
is Kyoko* and I am a single 24-year-old Japanese woman. I was diagnosed
with genital herpes after a severe break out in January this year. I don't
believe I have ever been so scared in my life. I remember being completely
at a loss sitting on that examination table. How dirty! How shameful!
Now I will never have the promising future I once had! I hate my boyfriend
for giving this to me! I remember screaming at him, 'You are going to
pay for this! Even if it takes your entire life!'
I spent
many nights searching the Internet for some comfort. Strangely, I did
not come across this website at the time of need. I come from a very private
family and if I were to share this with them, it would hurt them and they
would have no contact with me. The fact I openly dated a man in high school
is shameful enough for them. They speak of how 'different' I am from their
traditional ways.
My boyfriend
is from a very different background. He dated over half a dozen women
before he was 20 and has had many unprotected encounters. He considers
himself 'pretty lucky' given his background to just have herpes as a consequence.
He claims he has no idea where he got this virus, frankly he says could
have been anyone since not one of his girlfriends were faithful to him
and they all got pregnant by the age of 18. I used to kick myself for
choosing a man like him. But do we really have a choice of who we fall
for? If it was not for this virus our relationship would probably not
have lasted for more than a year or two, but would have been remembered
as kind, nurturing and romantic. We met in college and were not expecting
to spend the rest of our lives together but a meaningful year or two to
see if we could consider getting into a long-term relationship leading
to marriage. But since my diagnosis earlier this year, I feel that we
owe it to each other to continue the relationship. Besides, who else out
there in their right mind is going to date a woman with herpes? I know,
I am being very negative. But in all honesty, I have always respected
the type of a man who would not date a woman with an STD. How in the world
can an individual change her perspective all of the sudden?
I hate
to consider my relationship with my boyfriend a mistake, but right about
now, it is very difficult to see him with much appreciation. Currently,
all I can do to fight my inner anger is by participating in an after-school
programme for high-school kids educating them about teenage pregnancy
and STDs. I am afraid none of this is really helping me to cope with my
anger. I think of what I have done to risk the health of my unborn children.
*Kyoko’s name has been changed, to protect her privacy.
Sebastien
Sebastien
Natalie
Jenny
Christine