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Christine* finds that support from a partner and doctor is important when
symptoms are severe
I am a single mum of two teenagers and am also a
full-time graduate student studying for my doctorate in pharmacy. I have
been with a very old friend whom I've known for over 20 years and our
relationship had become serious and sexual in the past 3 years. About
4 months ago, I went to the doctor, thinking I had a urinary tract infection,
but I also had some ‘bumps’ on my genitals that looked like
pimples. One had broken open, and everything hurt. I was diagnosed with
genital herpes, much to my and my partner's surprise.
My partner has never had any recognizable symptoms
of herpes, although he serologically tests positive. I, unfortunately,
continue to have one outbreak after another, despite suppressive therapy.
My doctor, I must say, has been wonderful in his assistance, management,
and counselling regarding this condition; from the facts, to the management
of the outbreaks, pain management and emotional support. His psychological
support has been particularly important because I am a survivor of childhood
incest and a physically abusive marriage. At the same time I was diagnosed,
my father (also my childhood abuser) was in hospice care and subsequently
passed away.
Although I don't have the concerns of childbearing,
I was just starting to truly find my own sexual identity and be comfortable
with my own sexuality, when I was diagnosed with genital herpes. I always
thought, ‘good girls didn't
get diseases.’ I thought I was very careful about my choice of partners;
always monogamous and certain of my partners' monogamy, too. And still,
I contracted this disease. So, I learned that no one is immune, regardless
of economic or social status, age or maturity.
I am having a difficult time adjusting to being
HSV-2 symptomatic, when my partner is not. And so is he. I've learned
that communication is so important. This is not going to break our relationship
or friendship. The trust and intimacy that we have built over the years
is so strong that we will weather this. I am scared about whether I'll
ever be able to relax about sex again, since sexual activity has triggered
a couple outbreaks. This has forced my partner and I to focus on other
ways of physical expression of our love and affection for each other that
are just as satisfying, but different.
My physician is working very closely with us to
help reduce my outbreak rate. With each outbreak, unfortunately, I experience
the flu-like symptoms and have pain severe enough to require not only
topical anaesthetic cream but also narcotic medication. He has also referred
my partner and I to a therapist for some short-term counselling to assist
our adjustment.
Although my partner and I are experiencing some
depression about this shared virus, we hold onto each other as hard as
we hold onto hope that all will calm down and life will continue. Herpes
will not run our lives; we are the masters of our ship, and are looking
forward to the day I graduate from Pharmacy College and our plans to marry
shortly afterwards.
*Christine’s
name has been changed, to protect her privacy.
Sebastien
Sebastien
Natalie
Jenny
Christine