David's fear of disclosing his diagnosis of herpes to potential partners meant his relationships could never progress. David's story tells us how he has worked to overcome his anxiety and how he can be reassured that he is doing everything possible to avoid passing on the infection.

My name is David and I'm 37 years old. I first noticed that I had symptoms back in 1996, when I noticed clusters of little white bead-like spots in my genital region. I was afraid, but I made an appointment at my local STD clinic where they diagnosed genital herpes. My first reaction was one of extreme anger. I was angry with myself for being stupid enough not to use condoms and I also felt immense anger towards the woman who had infected me.

I also quickly became aware of the stigma attached to herpes. The fact that I would have to live with a sexually transmitted disease for the rest of my life made me feel dirty. I felt a complete social outcast, and couldn't even discuss my problems with close friends because the disease just seemed so shameful. It made me feel very isolated and low.

I started experiencing around 10 outbreaks a year and even though these attacks were never as bad as the first one, I'd still feel a bit achy and would develop small fluid-filled blisters that would turn into painful sores. I hated the uncertainty of never knowing when I'd get another outbreak.

My main issue then became how to tell new partners about my herpes. Knowing that I would have to explain the herpes thing to anyone I met felt like a millstone round my neck. I kept wondering at what stage in the relationship I should first broach the subject and the issue got bigger and bigger in my mind until it was totally out of proportion.

I then met Sharon at a party and we had a really good laugh together. We decided to go out for a drink and it was then I realised that if this relationship was going anywhere I needed to let down all my barriers and be completely open and honest with her. I told her about my genital herpes and expected her to be really shocked, but she just said "So what's the big deal?"

Even though things were out in the open, I knew I'd feel terribly guilty if she got the problem and it was my fault. This started to obsess me and completely put me off sex. I asked my doctor for advice and he told us to avoid sex whenever I had an outbreak and to use condoms to help prevent Sharon becoming infected. However, the thing that really worried me was the fact that he told me I could still shed virus even when I did not have any symptoms, and still pass on the infection!

Some new information my doctor passed on to me at my last appointment has given me extra peace of mind. He told me about a new study which has shown that the antiviral Valtrex can reduce the risk of genital herpes transmission between partners. I have been taking the drug for a while to prevent outbreaks. I feel good knowing that I'm now doing everything possible to avoid passing the virus on to Sharon.

I believe it's the honesty of my initial confession coupled with the excellent information and advice from my doctor that has helped Sharon and me to stay together. I guess I've been lucky and I hope others can see a way through the initial anxiety, just as I have.

Sebastien

Sebastien

Natalie

Jenny

Christine

Elliott

Mary

Rachel

Kyoko

Jessica

Liana

Jane

Jennifer

Margaret

Barbara

Joyce

Carolyn

David

Loretta